Once you come to the moment, you still have to prioritize her comfort and emotions, as this is, again, a big step for her. So, it's important to choose to be with someone where our bodies being as our bodies are feels emotionally okay and safe, and where it's fine that you're new to sex. Big responsibility? That's nothing that happens any one time from any one thing again, sparing forcible rape or other genital injury , but is a slow, gradual process that occurs over time. Maybe you first heard about "popping the cherry" on the bus to middle school. The hymen is often torn in a girls earlier years during physical activities. She may be scared, excited, hesitant, happy, prepared, and so many other things. As for having sex making you a slut, "Slut" is a social construct that varies area to area. Defining virginity as "having a hymen," is pretty flawed, as you can see. All all hymens are not created equally. In my opinion, you should not have sex for any other reason than you feel the physical desire and it's what you want in your life. While I believe in a females power over her own sexuality, owning and accepting that women are sexual creatures just as men, the community where you live may not believe this and may not support you if you decide to become sexually active. Back in the day when people didn't understand bodies of people with vaginas -- and in some places and groups still, because some folks are still ignorant to what the realities of those bodies are -- virginity was defined as being all about the hymen when there were and in some places, again, there still are, however misguided cultural imperatives to try and "prove" a woman's virginity.