It's hard to switch gears and end up in overdrive in bed. This often can be done through therapy , stress-reduction techniques , or medication to treat an issue like depression or anxiety. Even if an overnight isn't possible, you can alter your look to be "new" for your partner. Put Sex on the Calendar Spontaneity can be overrated. It could your kitchen, the shower, the hammock in your backyard, the back seat of your car, or a hotel. Practice being more emotionally vulnerable during sex Share your innermost wishes, fantasies, and desires with your partner. Did it work for you? Whatever is the most vulnerable, intimate act, do that. Both partners need to talk about their feelings in terms of positive need, instead of what they do not need. So day six, all the things, plus oral. What have you been dying to do? I believe you can have a close marriage and recapture a good sex life but only once you admit that reigniting romance takes creativity and a commitment of time and energy. Have fun courting and practice flirting as a way to ignite sexual desire and intimacy. Secondly, if you are going to climax that way, your partner is going to see and feel you feeling all the things. But if both of you are functioning normally and both of you are unhappy about the downturn your sex life has taken, there are all sorts of things you can do together to spice things up. Having kids definitely doesn't lead to better sex Children in the home define husbands and wives as parents first and foremost, not lovers. Look at sex as an opportunity to get to know your partner better over time.