My relationship has kept me off the app, but from the constant string of complaints my mates make about life as a black woman in the Kingdom of Tinder, it doesn't sound like I've been missing out on much. Another thing we have in common! Aside from thinking raspberries are brown, this guys biggest issue is trying to commodify a skin tone. And those affinity moments on the train? And a few things guys on Tinder probably need to learn, stat BY Yomi Adegoke Posted on 23 08 Tinder ; the home of the young and bae-less. There are, in my relationships with white men, so many moments like that. At 18, I was fixated on being attractive to them. Paula is no fan of these declarations either: If they wanted me, I thought, it was because I seemed free like them. Once, in my late 20s, my boyfriend and I were stopped by police, and I quickly became frantic about the weed in the car. The store had some, but none that matched my skin tone. I spent my childhood surrounded by black and brown kids, but when I got to high school, suddenly everyone around me was white. But they think they're being smooth and that's the sad part, explains Paula - another friend who's found herself on the receiving end of some pretty dubious compliments on the dating app. In every relationship I have with a white man, there comes a moment when they come to understand a simple fact of my life: Obviously — that person did not get a response back. And she can, the same way any Tin-douche can help. It should really go without saying; black women are just women.